The Least Tantalizing, Best Job in the World

Best Job in the World? Not for me, no sir!

There has been a lot of commotion for the “Best Job In the World” in which I suppose I could still apply to. After all, what harm is there in submitting a video, except for my confidence when I find out only 10 people have viewed my video. And, those 10 people will be co-workers in my office that I coerced into viewing.

The thing about this job is that so far it hasn’t gotten a positive impression from me since I found out about it. First, I wasn’t able to load the site itself for at least 3 days. While it was able to build my curiosity up effectively, it did nothing for my motivation to want to waste my time attempting. Then, once I got the page to slowly load, it wasn’t even that appealing. The descriptions of the job were vague at best, and if you are anything like me and read in between the lines, you’d find that the job isn’t entirely “the best” by any means:

Explore and report back
There’s so much to see and do, so you’ll have plenty to write about in your weekly blog. And with so much life above and below the water, you’re sure to capture some entertaining moments for your video diary and photo gallery. To keep you busy, Tourism Queensland will organise a schedule of travel and events on the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef. Your schedule could include sampling a new luxury spa treatment at qualia on Hamilton Island, trying out new snorkelling gear on Heron Island, or bushwalking on Hinchinbrook Island.

Translation: Make sure to bring your “stupid sign” as we have you test out Joe Outback’s latest patent in snorkels with breathing holes, test out our new “hot” body wax, and walk through some bushes to see if the plants are poisonous.

Feed the fish
There are over 1,500 species of fish living in the Great Barrier Reef. Don’t worry – you won’t need to feed them all.

Translation: Be swarmed with thousands of fish at a time as they ravage you for their bit of food. If they bit your arm or other prized treasures, we are not liable. Don’t worry about the sharks though, they typically mistake humans for fish but stop after the first bite.

Clean the pool
The pool has an automatic filter, but if you happen to see a stray leaf floating on the surface it’s a great excuse to dive in and enjoy a few laps.

Translation: We need someone to chlorinate the public peephole, scrape the mildew and dirt off the walls, and it is especially important that the grout on the pool deck stay clean enough to lick off of. Therefore, your toothbrush is necessary.

Collect the mail
You’ll have some time on your hands, so why not join the aerial postal service for a day? It’s a great opportunity to get a bird’s eye view of the reef and islands.

Translation: we need someone to do the busy work. While you’ll get to fly in a plane for a brief period, what we really need is someone to lick, stamp, and fold letters that we send out. Make sure your salivary glands are moist.

While my translations are mild and tame, I am sure there is much more to it than what I depict here. Sometimes when I picture the job, I see it as a mafia/torture situation, and once a week they let you out of the dark hole to “video blog” about what a great time you are having. Psha! Yeah right!

One thing that this job has done for me, is spiked my desire to look for a vacation to go on. Why can’t these opportunities present themselves as something more appealing like a “dream vacation” or something a little bit more straight forward.